Sorry it didn’t work

So most people know im a right pervy sort of fellow not everyone know that i was for a time serving one of the Dominants of a largish D/s community in SL.  I had contacted the person in charge and asked if i could be of any service as a texture creater.  i was contact by that person’s erm mojor domo i s’pose and i ended up serving her specifically.  It was groovy at first but after a couple of months RL issue arose, causing me stress, she already had RL issues to cause stress and frankly our D/s dynamic in SL became skewed.  i got uppity, she got pissed whamo its done.

So that blows but it is just backstory.  The thing is this, does anyone else find it easy to get “involved” with people on an emotional level in SL?  i find that i have made some pretty good freinds, people i would trust as if having known them in RL, whom i spend a good deal of time with.  One of those people i can even admit to having a massive crush on.  This can’t be that uncommon.  i mean yeah we all have a sort of ideal existence in SL but still. .  i dunno i just find the emotional dynamic to be wholly unexpected, not unwelcome per say.

Knocking heads

It is a clear sign of my currentemotional duress that i got pissy with Ms Emma about something totally stupid last night.  We seem to be clashing more and i am afraid that our dynamic has changed.  i frustrate Her more often and lately i am more inclined to balk at what i perceive to be unreasonable requests.  Whether they are or not doesn’t really matter.  She brought up a good point, one that i think i have made in the.  If you choose to submit then do so.  If not then take a hike.

 The thing is i never wanted a Domme.  i was just looking to contribute to the community.  Instead i found this totally awesome individual who decided i did indeed need a dominant to serve.  After last night i wouldnt be surprised if She asked me to take a hike and honestly it may be better for both of us if we were just friends.  Now anyone reading this may be saying “Dude, you dont sound remorseful.”  Well that is the down side of net blogging isn’t it.  The fact is i am stupidly upset because i annoyed a Mistress and a friend and was in such a piss poor mood said something terrible to another friend later that night.

 i wonder if i can find a cave to live?

*end of the poor me stage*

Away with thee oh Naming convention!

So the idea of having a crush on someone in SL is not novel per say but wholly expected.  For example  one of my oldest SL friends (all of 2 months) is this groovy chick.  She is cute, personable, kinky, a gamer with almost as large a library as my own and she is flirty.  Did I get a crush?  Oh yeah.   

Why?  Why would anyone get a crush on someone else in a digital environment?  Well honestly if you give someone an environment where they can interact with others and express themselves through multi-media I think you get a pretty good look at who they may be.  Totally sufficient for crush status and wholly agreeable to friend status.  Hell even a little lust.  See SL is visually stimulating as well as mental (as I have addressed before).  So yeah. 

01-015 blah

RL intrudes. Need tro have R1 done by Sunday, promised Attim last night while slightly intoxicated.  Did nothing last night but hang out with my friend Ella as i needed to not work.  Bought a loft so i could think about texturing without worrying about building a shack to store my gear.

Need to finish a few more sets and get them in the vendor.  i am getting 3 to 5 looky loos on SLX everyday but not much in sales.  So maybe i need to revamp my approach there.  Plan on seeting up another vendor in a high traffic area, possibly specialty vendors in particular spots.

01-014 This Week in SL

I have to spend as much time as possible on the Knightsbridge project.  Like i need to finish one building tonight or at least damn close and start on the next ASAP.  I dont want to let Attim down.

It was good to get away for the weekend and unplug but i am ready to get back to work.  I would like to package up a set of stone trims to put in my shop an revamp my shop a little too.  i neend to put out a wood pack and maybe some signs and tootally need some windows.

 Was great to be with Miss Emma again last night even for a short time.  We kept in touch a little over the weekend but it wasnt the same as time together in SL.

01-013 Mini Post

no, not that thing im tied to.  it really is a pick me up to be able to chat with Her during the day.  Even without the D/s trappings of SL.  i’m not talking like net stalker sort of stuff, just that we seem to have a lot in common in our general out look and a scary amount in common in some of our experiences.  It is a groovy connection and i look forward to time spent with Her and miss it when it isn’t there.

01-012 Texturing Nightmare

So, i may have mentioned in a past post that I have just taken my first professional SL contract job.  Essentially I had the good fortune to meet an excellent builder who has many connections in game and actually handles many corporate building jobs.  She landed this large contract and brought me along to texture the buildings.  For the most part it is a repetitive job with lots of stone work.  No sweat.   The down side is that all the reference material is from across the street and usually an up angle shot from street level.  So while I am assured that what we turn over will be well received, I am still concerned that there are architectural decorative bits that I will not be able to reproduce due to lack of a good photo. I am doing lots of research on the net trying to find a close up but tonight when I finish the basic front entrance of one of the building I will rap with the builder a bit and see what she thinks.  Looking at the build, my image is more to scale then her model so we may be doing some revamping. 

More time this week devoted to getting product into my store.  Three available sets is not bringing the lindens in yet.  The upside is that Ms Emma may develop our recent joint project for sale and I was told I would be nicely compensated for my work.  SL warm fuzzies right there.

01-011 Public Fun

In a surprise turn last night, not only was Mistress Emma content to watch my work on my new build and chat, but we also went over the Forum, an SL BDSM hub.  It was fun from my point of view, despite a couple of awkward moments.  But kneeling in front of Her all collared and cuffed and chatting amongst similar groovy kinky types was really enjoyable.

01-010 MMIA Mistress Missin In Action

Ms Emma is either uber busy or RL up and grabbed Her.  Havent seen Her on line at all.  The day is a little less bright for that.  Hopefully She is sleeping.

01-009 Revelation!

So ok, realized just now that i am using a lot of space with my shop and witih the vendor i am now employing i dont really need all of that space. So i am going to revamp shop AND i totally just realized that i can use orthographic drawings on temp prims to build exactly the way i wanted to.  What can i say, sometimes i am slow.